Finding Love on the Road

It happened in the most unlikely of places. Closing time at the most fabled underground bar in La Paz, Bolivia. The curious glance from across the room drew me in. It had already been quite the night- things get pretty crazy in this town. A lively hostel scene, thin mountain air, and cheap alcohol makes for some pretty raucous nightlife. 

Just to set the scene, you’re probably not going to hear about this place in your guide books. This establishment is not known for its drinks if you know what I mean. Entering involves ringing the doorbell of a run down house in a dark, intimidating part of town and looking into a camera above the door. Inside, draped red velvet adorns the walls giving the atmosphere an ironic elegance, but also prevents any chance of light trickling in from the outside.

The bar started off full, but slowly dwindled to the last few hangers on. Not wanting to go home the stragglers slowly combined, sparking up conversations with their chemically induced confidence. And that’s when I saw her, the woman who would change my life forever; Become my traveling partner, my girlfriend, my wife, and later the mother of my child.

From that night on we essentially lived with each other. Together every second of the day. Kind of crazy when you think about it- not leaving the side of someone you just met in a bar for almost a year. Knowing nothing about them, but trusting your gut enough to travel down this path together in a world unfamiliar to both of you.

Things move pretty fast when you meet someone while traveling. After all, you don’t have jobs to go to each day, you don’t have family or your usual friends around, and you’re pretty much free of responsibility. You’re there to experience, indulge and have a good time. Being cooped up in a hotel room together with food poisoning can really take you to a level of intimacy that you’re unlikely to find a week into casually dating someone. All of the crazy, frustrating and sometimes incredibly scary situations that you find yourself in really intensify things and will definitely make or break your relationship. You put unwavering trust in each other, solve challenges together and push each other through the tough times. Revel together in the good times.

Thinking about it, it’s a pretty perfect way to meet someone. You already have shared interests and most likely share lots of the same values in life. Looking back we are definitely  better off for it. We now know each other on such a deep level. Understanding how the other will feel in different situations and helping to guide them. We have unbelievable stories of experiences spent together that bring us close again when times are tough. We have been through so much together that it would be impossible to let go- casting a shadow over once treasured memories.

10 years on from that fateful evening, I think we have learned a lot about what it takes to keep a relationship alive when you both come from different sides of the globe.

1. Be prepared for things to get intense, fast.  
2. Take time to decide if this is what you want from your trip, or whether you want that free spirited independence that you originally set out for. These moments of freedom usually don’t last forever so spend your time wisely.
3. If you don’t want to spend some time apart you need to plan ahead. Visas can be very expensive and take a long time to be granted. We now have permanent residency in each others’ home country, but it took a lot of paperwork, time, effort and money.
4. You will probably find that it makes sense to get married sooner than you otherwise would. It makes everything a lot easier.
5. Having options of places to live is amazing but it can lead to some tough decisions. We just had a baby and now have a choice of 3 different countries to raise him in.
6. Most importantly, enjoy it and treasure your time together. Having a close companion to travel the world with is one of the most incredible experiences you can have.